Same Sex Relationships
Healthy and happy Relationships are very difficult to obtain and even harder to maintain. They require ongoing work and commitment from both parties. Effective communication skills, creativity and friendship are essential. When our romantic relationship is not working or is faced with difficult times it can affect every aspect of our life; relationships with friends and family, our work and our overall ability to feel happy.
These feelings can be amplified if we approach a counsellor who does not have an understanding of our own individual and unique needs as a couple. Couples in same sex relationships require a counsellor or therapist with an understanding of and respect for the issues gay couples face at both individual and societal levels. This does not necessarily mean the counsellor needs to be gay but that the counsellor is sympathetic to the different dynamics of same sex couples and the various issues they may face.
Couples counselling is a great way to not only touch base with each other but also with ourselves. Often we as individuals get carried away with the hustle and bustle of daily routines, family and friends and work, that we lose contact with each other. This loss of contact can result in arguments, feelings of rejection or loss, loneliness and/or fear that the relationship may be coming to an end. Communication can begin to break down and it may be hard to know how our partners are feeling or what their current needs are. Counselling or therapy can assist in developing new communication skills, reacquainting ourselves with each other and to gain a deeper understanding of our own feelings, needs and wants.
Some of the common reasons a same sex relationship may begin to suffer include:
- Breakdown in communication
- Dishonesty by one or both members in the relationship
- Attachment issues
- Moving of the goal posts (i.e if the relationship began as an open relationship and one party wishes to make it exclusive)
- One party wishes to “come out” to family and friends and the other does not feel the same way
- Domestic Violence
- Not having a strong support network
- Lack of intimacy
- Lack of trust
Some skills that are essential in ensuring long term healthy relationships include:
- Ability to solve problems
- Effective communication
- An active and creative romantic life
- Being able to discuss feelings and feel heard
- Taking responsibility for mistakes we have made
- Being able to forgive
Relationship conflict, if left untreated, can lead to high anxiety, depression, isolation and possible relationship breakdown. This can be especially true for same sex couples who may not have “come out” and who do not have the support from family and friends they may need.
If you and/or your partner feel you would like to talk to someone about your relationship please contact Eliza on 0417910911.